Show Notes

“You stop performing and you start parenting with actual presence.”

– Shantelle Poynter

Parenting does not have to look polished to be powerful.

In this micro episode of Different Like You, I’m challenging the idea that good parenting has to look neat, quiet, organised, or socially acceptable. Because in my home, it often looks like bubbles at 6am, dancing at 9pm, crying when we’re sad, and making space for feelings instead of rushing past them.

I talk about what it means to parent with presence instead of performance, especially as a neurodivergent mum raising kids in a world that still rewards what looks “normal” over what actually works. From shower time turning into podcast time, to teaching my kids that respectful relationships matter more than blind obedience, this episode is a reminder that different does not mean wrong.

Highlights:

• Parenting does not need to look put together to be meaningful
• Feelings need space, not suppression
• Kids learn by watching us try, fail, learn, and try again
• Respect matters, even with people in authority
• Kindness and curiosity can change how we understand other families
• “Normal” was never designed with every family in mind

If you’re an ND mum, a parent doing things differently, or someone trying to unlearn the pressure to perform parenting for other people, this one will land. I talk about the beauty of building a home around what actually supports your kids, not what looks good from the outside.

Fuck normal. It does not exist. What matters is knowing who you are, knowing who your kids are, and building your life around that truth. When you stop chasing picture-perfect parenting, you make room for connection, regulation, and actual presence.

If this episode hit something tender in you, share it with someone who needs the reminder.

🔗 LINKS 

Website: ShantellepoynterShantelle Poynter – The Healthcare Hype Girl™ 

Instagram: Instagraminstagram.com/shantellepoynter

Transcript

Shantelle | Nurse | Educator | Founder
[1:02] You're listening to Different Like You. I'm Shantelle Pointer, neurodivergent nurse, solo mum, and queen of the site quest. Today's a micro episode in season two, our theme of challenging difference. And today I'm challenging the idea that parenting has to look put together to be powerful. Because here's what I know to be my truth in my home.

[1:23] Sometimes we blow bubbles at 6am, we dance at 9pm, we cry when we're sad and we play the damn sad song while we do it. Because we have to teach our kids to feel their feelings and teach them that their feelings are important. Some things I do that are not particularly popular as a parent is I've bought a waterproof phone holder. So yeah, sometimes shower time is podcast time.

[1:52] or music time or decompress in your own damn space time. We jump on the bed when we're happy. We snuggle under the blankets when we're sad and we feel our emotions before we move on and I give them the time and space to do that because if we don't, we get emotionally constipated and that leads to its own significant problems. I also teach my kids that respectful relationships

[2:19] are the priority with everybody, including people in authority. We learn new things together. They watch me try, they watch me be terrible at things. I try again, maybe be a bit better, maybe not. And that's okay. Just because I'm an adult, it doesn't mean I'm meant to know better, but equally it shows them that our learning experience doesn't end when we have more information as an adult. There's always opportunities to do things different. This is what

[2:48] our beautiful chaos looks like and it's meaningful to us. If you look at our life and feel some type of way about it, and I know lots of people do, I would encourage you to lead with kindness and then curiosity. Ask me, I'm happy to share. You know, you might learn something from me and I might learn something for you. Equally, if you have people around you that you are really unsure about what

[3:16] is going on in their family or how they parent or how they've made a decision to do something that you just can't even get your head around. Do the same thing. Lead with kindness and then curiosity and see what happens. To any of the ND mums listening or anyone parenting in inverted commas differently, fuck normal. It does not exist. They're socially acceptable, but that was never designed with your reality in mind. It sure wasn't designed for my reality.

[3:46] Please invest the time and effort into knowing who you are, knowing who your kids are. And if you invest in that, not the picture perfect, ideal, Insta-worthy, house, day trips, et cetera, you will have a shift in your quality of life, in your human experience, in your experience as a parent and your relationships with your kids.

[4:13] You stop performing and you start parenting with actual presence. And it's not about just being more mindful or finding a moments of happy. It's about really understanding what works for you. And it might not be the beach day out that you're wanting on that day. You've been listening to different like you. I'm Chantelle, your platform croc wearing bubble blowing chaos, honoring healthcare, hype girl. And I'm encouraged everyone to be kind, be curious and be open to learning.

[4:42] Thanks for showing up today and listening to this podcast. I'm really, really grateful.

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